£350 / hour Ines
If there are two of you, hers is the first name to consider.
Nobody books a couples session and admits the real worry, which is the awkwardness. Ines manages it for you. The first ten minutes with her are talkative on purpose — what happens, in what order, who lies down first — and by the time hands meet skin, both of you have stopped performing calm and started feeling it. Guests describe the shift as almost audible.
The taught sessions are hers, near enough exclusively. Couples come wanting something to take home and she builds the two hours so they leave with it — she demonstrates, then watches you try it and puts you right. More than one pair has come back months later to be corrected again. It's proper teaching, not a demonstration with candles.
If you'd rather be looked after than instructed — no homework, nothing to remember — Talia is the better fit, and I say so to half the couples who ring. House rule, stated out loud at the start of every session of hers and applying to both guests: neither of you touches the therapist, and stop means stop. £350 the hour, and that's it settled.
My wife came along under protest, arms folded in the taxi. She'd booked the second visit before we reached the Tube.
When you can get her
- Couples sit best in her diary between four and nine in the evening.
- A taught session is two hours flat; she won't squeeze one into sixty minutes.
- Weekends carry the couples work — think three or four days ahead.
- Booking her solo is easiest on weekday afternoons, often at short notice.
Talks more than the others in the first ten minutes, on purpose. Nervous arrivals settle faster for it.
What she is booked for
Asking for Ines
My partner is much more nervous than me about the whole thing. How does she deal with that on the day?
It's the commonest shape a couple arrives in. She talks to the nervous one first and more, and never turns it into a performance for the other. Tell us in the form who needs the softer landing.
Can she actually teach us the basics rather than just do the massage while we lie there?
That's her speciality. Book two hours, say you want the taught format, and you'll leave able to repeat the bones of it at home.
She also travels
MaryleboneBayswaterEdgware RoadEarl's CourtCamdenWestminsterSohoCovent GardenMayfairOxford Circus every area
The others
£350 / hour Elise
Books out first, week in, week out. If it's Friday you want, ask on Monday.
£300 / hour Noor
Runs the nuru side and won't start until the mat's properly warm. Quite right too.
£350 / hour Verity
Says the least of anyone in the building. Several regulars book her for exactly that.
£300 / hour Marta
The slowest hands in the house, and every bit of it deliberate.
£300 / hour Lena
Half her diary happens in hotels, and none of it rattles her.
£250 / hour Sofia
The strong pair of hands. Ask twice for firmer and firmer is what you'll get.
£300 / hour Camille
The constant half of most four hands bookings — she's what keeps two rhythms in time.
£300 / hour Anouk
Two hours is her true session. Book one and she'll think you stopped at the interval.
Book Ines
Name her in the message with a day and a time. If she is taken we will say so rather than quietly booking you with someone else.