In their words
What Guests Say Afterwards
Sent through the form or by message afterwards, reprinted with permission, signed with as much or as little as each person wanted. We kept the gripes in. A page of pure delight would tell you nothing.
Sat in the car round the corner for a good ten minutes talking myself into it, which feels daft to type now. It was chucking it down, wipers going, and I nearly drove home twice. The woman who opened the door clearly clocked the state I was in and just gave me space — no chat, no fuss, exactly right. The massage was slower than anything I have ever paid for, and somewhere past the half hour I realised I had stopped rehearsing what to say if something went wrong. Nothing went wrong. No odd moment, nothing to second-guess, none of the stuff you build up in your head beforehand. Got dressed in my own time, walked back to the car, told nobody. Which is exactly how I wanted it.
Does what it says on the website. In London that is practically a miracle.
Honest note: the first twenty minutes I could not settle at all. Kept waiting for the catch — an upsell, a knock at the door, something. There wasn't one, and once my brain finally accepted that, the rest was the best massage I have had anywhere, London or otherwise. Slightly annoyed with myself for wasting twenty minutes of it being a suspicious sod.
Four hands sounded like a gimmick and I booked it mostly to see. It is not a gimmick. There is a stretch in the second half where the two of them deliberately fall out of sync and your head just gives up keeping score. Got the Victoria line home in a sort of pleasant fog and sailed straight past my stop.
Booked to my hotel with about four hours' notice, gone half seven on a Tuesday. Table up in ten minutes, oils and towels out of the same case, all of it packed away again at the end. Paid what her card said, same as her room. After a week of client dinners it was the only two hours of the trip that were actually mine.
My wife found this place, not me, which apparently needs saying because everyone assumes otherwise. We did the taught version, felt like a pair of wallies for the first ten minutes, and came out with something we have actually used at home since. Two visits in, it has done more for us than the fancy weekend in the Cotswolds did, at about half the price.
The therapist I wanted sits at the top of the range and I ummed and ahhed over her two-hour rate for a week. Booked it anyway. It is a lot of quid and I will not pretend otherwise, but nothing was padded, nobody watched the clock, and I have paid nearly that for spa days that were mostly towels and waiting around. Rebooked her before I had my coat on, so I suppose the argument settled itself.
Third visit. Same therapist, remembered everything without me repeating a word, including the dodgy left shoulder. Came in knackered off the back of a fourteen-hour day, left feeling human. That is the whole review really.
